Often I am still amazed at how loud God can speak. I always feel as if I am struggling to hear him, especially when I am looking for answers. I even took an amazing course on how to hear him. The problem is, He is speaking to me, I am just not really listening.
Last July my husband received orders for a hardship tour, which means he leaves for a year to an overseas duty station, and my daughter and I cannot go with him. We were stunned because it came out of now where. My husband and I spent months trying to find a way out of it, but nothing worked. We finally accepted that this must be God's will and moved forward...except we really didn't accept it. Deep down I have still been praying for it not to happen. God keeps answering me but I am in denial.
At church yesterday, we were listening to a speaker who will be traveling to China to preach the Gospel to the Muslim community there. He is taking his whole family and going for 10 years. Wow. He was telling us the story of how he made his decision, and took us back all the way through his army career. Here are the words that basically slapped me upside the head, he said when he receives orders from the army, its not Uncle Sam making the decision! Who do you think controls Uncle Sam? God!
We received those orders because God wants my husband to go and he has a plan! He knows I have been doubting, and praying to change it, and He finally gave up being subtle because I need to be slapped in the face. Suck it up and drive on, lol!
I have heard you Lord! Will this separation be hard, yes....but obviously this is something we need to do and he has given me since last July to accept it. Ok...I'm know I'm hard headed..but I do hear you Lord. Such a blessing to hear your voice in so many different ways.