Wednesday, June 26, 2013

What if

Feeling a little melancholy for some reason tonight. I came to terms a long time ago that I would never get to be pregnant, but now and then it creeps up on me. I still wonder what it would have felt like to see the positive sign on the pregnancy test, and come up with some fun creative way to tell my husband and then our family. I wonder what crazy foods I would have craved and what that little beginning baby bump would have looked like. And what must it feel like to actual feel your baby move around inside of you. The first ultrasound and hearing the babies heart beat. FInding out if we were having a boy or a girl, and being giddy with excitement. I know pregnancy isnt all sunshine and flowers, believe me, and I was for sure terrified of the actual delivery, but still....i just wonder.

Please don't misunderstand, I would not change a single detail of my life because I have been so blessed by the adoption of my beautiful daughter. Had I become pregnant, I probably wouldn't have ever considered adoption.

I just wonder...


  1. I think it is perfectly okay for you to express your wonder...thinking of you and saying a little prayer.